Our friends think we’re a little loop-the-loop and they are probably right. Who else would organise a party for 35 almost-seven-year-old boys in their tiny back garden and wack on a gross out theme to top it all off?

The only way a party of this magnitude was ever going to work (and not end up in an explosive all-consuming slime fight) was to run it like a show. Containment. So I donned the lime green wig, pulled on my oldest clothes (and enticed the kidlets to do the same) and set up seating and a stage of sorts in the garden.

We dotted the itinerary with both big bang numbers and calmer items in an effort to balance the noise levels and ever-present threat of mutiny.  Here are my suggestions for best in shows:

1. A Cooking Class
We roasted mealworms (apparently munching on bugs is the new trend in New York bars)…well the kidlets DEVOURED them! The parents were not so sure, but they did sample them all the same. All you need is a little gas stove, a fry pan, oil, salt and…mealworms.

We also concocted a poo and wee drink, aka a choccie bar and apple juice (decantered into a urine specimen container for the right look). The kids had to make the drink and then slurp it up. Grooossss. Then there was the fudge and rice bubbles gobble game (or, kitty litter with a punch).

2. A Slime Hunt
There are loads of websites around for how to do this – google away people! We set up four clear buckets and our kiddies took turns to add ingredients and stir. The best bit however, was grossifying the slime. By the time they added pineapple chunks, baked beans, cooked spaghetti, cornflakes and a week’s worth of peelings, the slime resembled vomit. We then added ‘grandpa’s teeth’ ($2 shop fake teeth) to the mix and the kidlets had to race to find them, WITH THEIR TOES.

3. The Mystery Box
I appointed children to hold up a sign stating what was within the box whilst the other children were blindfolded and smelt or felt the goo within. For feelies, think: soggy bran cereal (vomit), wet lychees (eyeballs), and soggy fish pellets (rabbit poo). For smellies, think: anchovies (dead fish), mashed egg and vinegar (fart), and cat food (exactly that).

4. The Snot Game
I grabbed a couple of cheap plastic masks from the toy shop and added long, clear tubing to the nose. When watery jelly was pumped through the tube, it ran down out of the nose. Of course, we chose the kidlets in the oldest clothes to wear the masks!

5. The Slug and Snail Race
OK so this one can take a while…I suggest getting this started at the beginning of the party, spray the critters with lots of water and ready, set, go them. They’ll get moving within a few minutes. We drew a couple of circles on an old wooden board to mark the start centre circle and the outer finish line. Too easy.

My son chose his favourite gross out facts to poster around the garden, along with a juicy poo cake (we pumped out thick brown icing through a bag with a largish hole, and dot with fake flies). The final touch for our party were the well-corked bottles of maggots strung above the garden. Very nice.